The Posters of the Caribbean Trilogy

[Venom-Hulk]

True....but...well....silence!!

[Popit]

It's not my fault I'm evil. It's the way I was raised...

[Darth_Lucius]

We have no beginning, no end...we simply, are. Millions of years after your pathetic civilization is dead and forgotten, we will still live.

WOOT!!! I told you it was an awesome game.

Excellent chapter Vulk. I love the Mass Effect reference. As for "Stir Whip Waa," I.......i'm afraid.

[Venom-Hulk]

As you should be...

[Darth_Lucius]

 

[Venom-Hulk]

Chapter 8: There's a fine line between story progression and humanity's destruction.

JXM shrieked and jumped backward. It did the same, surprised to see visitors. It grabbed the spatula, and began running at DL, shrieking.

"YOU NEVER PAID ME!!!" It screamed.

"For what?!" DL asked, while quickly darting for the adjacent wall.

"For that incident with Lady Gaga!!" It replied, while stabbing the droid with It's rubber cooking device.

"Wait...what incident!?!" Asked JXM, stunned.

"Didn't you know? If you play all of Lady Gaga's songs at the same time backwards, you will open the portal to the 9th dimension and destroy the world with pop music. Fortunatley we were able to push her into the portal and keep her from ever being important to this plot ever again."

"Oh...okay....so...what...are.....you!?!"

It stopped stabbing DL and looked at JXM. "I? I am a monument to all your sins."

"Wonderful."

***

After a very long reconciliation that ended with one or two souls being traded for an apple pie, It served the Yellow Submarine's crew a rather larger large serving of Bantha Surprise. JXM cringed with every canonical error, while It hummed Bad Romance. Oh the horror.

"So," It sat down, "You want to get Vulk's Halo."

"Yes."

"It's too late. He's comming for you, and he's bringing his pet with him."

"You mean..."

"Yes, I do mean."

"You mean what?!"

"HER."

"Cortana?" DL asked.

"Just because I said a Gravemind quote doesn't mean I will constantly make Halo references!" It snapped.

"Sorry...so who's her?"

"Poison Ivy."

"AdbadijaWHA!?!?!??!??!"

"Yes. Poison Ivy. And you'd better pray that she isn't the one from Batman & Robin. She controls the seas, using her plant...thingy from Arkham Asylum to terrorize the seas."

DL, speechless, shivered for the next few minutes.

"So, why would Vulk hide his Halo? Doesn't he love it?"

"He loves the Halo franchise." It clarified.

"Exactly."

"The Halo of Power Vulk ended up getting was Halo Wars."

"Ah.

DL finally regained the confidence to speak. "So how can we find it?"

"The Game is buried on the hardest place to find it: Stranger Earth."

The room was suddenly filled with the sound of a dozen facepalms.

"But you will find an impregnable chest there. First you must find the key, and the key is aboard Vulk's ship: the Sinking Danishman."

"Is that its real name?" Asked JXM, thinking that this name was even too far-fetched for Vulk.

"Nah. It's real name is the Pillar of Autumn."

"Of course." Said DL. "So where can we go to get the key?"

"Hmm...let me throw a bunch of shells on the table to moprh into a bunch of rock formations that will make for a great scene change!!" Said It. It did so.

***

It (no, not that it, I mean a regular it) was nightime. The waves were choppy against the strangley shell-shaped rocks, and the remnants of a ship.

"There's the Autumn!" DL yelled with excitment, as he quickly pushed JXM over the edge of the Submarine, "Go, get the key!"

"Why did you do that?!" JXM yelled once he splashed.

"Being a droid, I can no longer lie to you. When the story is over, you will be....missed!" DL replied, providing no comfort, and only confusion.

"Uh...okay..." And with that JXM.

From far away, a ship lurked in the darkness. Its captain waited. He...............liked chocolate.

[Popit]

That ending... Oh no.... *Has my immortal flashbacks.*

(My Immortal ended a lot of chapters with stuff like: it was............................................ DUMBLYDORF!!!

[Venom-Hulk]

I see.

[Darth_Lucius]

while It hummed Bad Romance. Oh the horror.

  Oh man...did you by any chance see that vid on bungie.net... thew one with THAT song in it....

[Venom-Hulk]

*searches*

Huh. I can't find it. I imagine it includes alot of fire, though. And death. So much death. The pain. THE PAIN!!!!!


Oh, and Popit: It's not Dumblydorf.

[Darth_Lucius]

Its just funny that just reciently I watched a machienma on B.net that makes fun of that guy who is in every halo matchmaking game that sings that stupid song...in this case...bad romance.

[Popit]

It's DUMBLYDOR!!! Yeah I just like mocking her. She doesn't have any continuity.

[Venom-Hulk]

Chapter 9: Please Remain Calm. It's not the end of the world....yet.

After reaching the wreckage, JXM stopped and looked around. The sky was dark, the waves choppy. And he was standing on the remains of a ship. A barely recognizeable ship. There were a few mangled corpses on the ground, as well as an open stair way to lower in the ship. JXM went down, not understanding anything at all, but what else is new?

There were more corpses, dismembered limbs....the kind of stuff you'd expect in a place DL sent you to. JXM walked further, and then made it to what was left of the ship's armory. There were lockers everywhere: some destroyed, some open, some closed, and one....whimpering?!

"Uh, hello?" JXM asked, as confused as I was.

"Fishy fishy? Are you there? Fishy, fishy, fishy??"

"Oh God."

"Coming to eat me, fishy?"

"Uh...no. What happened here?"

"Fishy fishy went insane, and wanted to eat everyone. Chomp chomp chomp! They would have eaten me too, but I'm safe behind my walls!"

"Uhh..."

"You can't get me in HERE, Fishy fishy! AHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!!"

"That's what the others said! That's what they ALL said! But they're all dead now, chomped up by the little fishies!!"

"I'm leaving now..."

"But you can never leave the Fishy Fishy! Fishy Fishy will find you!!!"

As if on que, hundreds of Flood burst into the room, suffocating JXM as he screamed.

***

JXM eventually came to on another, less-wrecked ship, alongside a few other survivors from the wreckage. If he had listened closely, he might have heard a strange man in a locker screaming as a civilization of Oompa Loompas dragged him into another dimension. Oh well.

Footsteps. JXM couldn't see clearly, but he heard a voice. Then a figure came closer, and kneeled at one of the men alongside JXM.

"Do you fear death?"

The man slowly nodded.

"That's nice."

The man screamed as a few infection forms lunged at him. The figure came a few steps closer to JXM, then stopped.

"How about you?"

"Uhh..." the man replied.

"Too slow!" Yelled the figure, and quickly ate him alive in Ultimate-Venom fashion. Or Ultimate-Hulk, they're techically both cannibals.

The figure looked at JXM.

"And do you fear death?" He asked.

JXM was finally able to see the person. Sure enough, it was a giant, hulking, black figure with symbiotic tentacles dangling from his chin.

"Uh...you don't want me, you want that droid over there." JXM quickly stammered.

"What droid?" Venom-Hulk asked, curiously.

"That one." JXM pointed in the general direction that DL's ship was at.

Gazing from his telescope, DL quickly uttered a few colorful words, before Vulk appeared right infront of him.

"How did you do that?!"

"Magic."

"Now that's..."

Vulk promptly grabbed DL and lifted him in the air. "GIVE ME YOUR SOUL!!"

"I thought you wanted the Submarine!!"

"That too!"

"Well can we just..."

"NO!"

"Well can I just..."

"NO!!!!!"

"Fine." DL then kicked Vulk in the face, and signalled Kalashnikov to fire the bazooka.

"AIEEE!" Vulk screamed as he fell into the ocean.

"Virgil, get us out of her now, dammit!" DL screamed to the Yellow Submarine's automated computer.

"Keep it clean." Virgil replied, as the Submarine promptly sailed underwater and zoomed far away.

[Popit]

Of course you have Fishy Fishy.

[Venom-Hulk]

I wouldn't be me if I didn't have it somewhere in this trilogy, and this was the perfect scene.

Although I think I might have had a Fishy fishy reference before in this fic (either lotg or potc)...oh well! The more the merrier!